That poem was so difficult to compose it caused so much heartache and pain. Repeatedly I returned to its structure and rewrote it again and again.
I struggled to find the words that conveyed what I wanted to say. The reality of failure became so close, it was only a knife edge away.
So annoyed that it wouldn’t come together, so frustrated that I faced defeat. My inner turmoil tore my psych to shreds, until I’d conquered the written sheet.
Rin Yamada
ps, I have not written a poem i could be proud of for sometimes,amid these weeks of distress had given me what i suppose people call writers block.Am i fine now?i dont know yet,but i know im still breathing tho.
My tears cant stop flowing,my old wound have yet open itself once again,how could he did it to a 9 year old me then,and he who suppose to love me the most and protect me,my father ,had betrayed me yet again and again even now when i had forgiven him yet he did it to me again and said he love me, i cant go on breathing,it hurt so much with every single breath i take,that i want to make myself stop breathing altogether.
im hurting so much now and there is no hurt worst than this,i wanna ask god to take me away from this place call earth forever.i dont wanna suffer this pain no more.god,please help me take away this pain,stop my tears and the pain of my heart like a knife cutting my fresh bit by bit and day by day,i cant go on no more,no more,help me merciful god pls.
now i feel like im back at 9 year old lil girl again,and there's nobody here for me.i never wanted to mention it and keep it locked deep inside my soul,but i have to write it down somewhere,or i will go crazy with grieve and pain.
why wont you love me like a normal father daddy?why did u say u still love me,if u do,why did this to me?what have i done wrong?where are u mummy?why wouldnt you protected me from him and ran away instead.
There is no point for me to put on makeup because the weather in singapore was terribly hot.My makeup may melt if I actually did. There are certain places where I used to go very often in singapore but it's to freaking HOT!So i rather stay home,Watch DVDs, read a book, blog, play with the lil babe, etc.. Feel free to suggest me if you can think of something fun to do at home.Remember drink plently of water to keep yourself dehyrated!
Some people love to read and some read to kill time. Boredom kills the brain cells so might as well just read. And i do really love books with a passion. The winner stands alone by one of my favorite author, Paulo Coelho.
I read through a quarter of this book already and hopefully I have time to finish it. My favorite spot to read but not during summer. I was there reading my book for 10 minutes maximum because I couldn't stand the heat
I rather go for sauna. Or play with a tiny "Emily". She is so adorable
Living a lie
What if one day you wake up in the morning and you suddenly find no peace, no justice, no love, and no mercy between mankind.. Then why do we call ourselves a mankind? Learning to love all humanity and share the beauty of the truth, makes every interaction -smoother and lighter, and that's when life gets easier. "Love", most of us define as it is personal, based on experience with a person or thing. "The Great Love" is not selective; giving more than you takes and expect nothing in return. Let's get to the point.
(skip this content if you are not interested in political)
Thailand's current political crisis
Firstly, I have to apologize in advance for not going into all the details in this political matters as I think it could be a sensitive issue. Many of my friends have actually asked me on which side I'm supporting. Red or Yellow? I'm not too sure how to give an answer to this question (or maybe I prefer to keep it to myself for now...) It's not easy to judge people by what you hear about them especially when it comes to politics. I personally judge by the outcome. It's better to see things from all sides, not just one.
Don't you find it's interesting to know why the number of Red-shirt people is increasing everyday? Why are they willing to do every things for ex-PM Thaksin to come back? Many could actually see that ex-PM really did something great for Thailand. Even through I'm not his supporter but please kindly take note that I'm focusing on the positives only. Here is a few examples of what he has done to improve Thailand's economy and the living standards of Thai people. 1) Bangkok traffic used to be worst than what you see now. 2) Suvarnabhumi Airport, it was a total success. 3) Help the poor with 30Baht scheme health plan/care/promotion
As of today, 23 people are dead and hundreds injured after weekend killings. It's really a sadness after I went through some images & videos of violent clashes. Let's all pray to those victims as well as those families who have lost loved one's during the clashes.Hoping for a quick end. Bring back the land of beautiful smiles, and most importantly, people spirits.
Last but not Least.
Just to share a smile for a second. Just watch this his video. :) have a good day.
